| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2007|02:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
Well, I haven't been very narcissistic for a while, so I figured I'd post a "blog." Ha Ha. That's a funny word.
I do actually have a job now. I am working for an architecture firm in the Communications department, and I heart it. I work in a department of 15 women, and for the most part, they are awesome. A couple weeks ago, we had a "Ladies Night Out" and I'm in love. Not gonna lie, I was at first quite freaked out by this company because everyone seemed to be religious...The Ten Commandments are posted outside of one of the formal conference rooms in the lobby. But, apparently, that is not so of the Communications girls, and I feel at home with them. Also, with another group mixed with engineers, CAD techs, and architects, I go to a weekly sushi lunch that inevitably ALWAYS lasts an hour and a half so I have to work late, but what are you gonna do? Skip sushi lunch? No. Anyway, it's a huge company. Our office alone has a couple hundred people, so I feel like, even six months into this job, I am still meeting new people. Honestly...quitting the salon was a fantastic idea. I feel productive, and isn't life more fun when you feel like you have a purpose? It is for me, anyway. Oh, and the pay is about $15,000 more a year than what I was making at the salon, plus benefits, 401K...I'm feeling good.
Meanwhile, the home life. Little sis and I are still living together and never seeing each other. But it's ok. I think the love is still there. And there is a new kitten in our life. Chris found a stray calico living in my neighborhood, so he brought it over, and we gave her a bath, and she is lovely and adorable, and her name is Dagny. Kitty hated her at first, but I think she eventually wore him down by following him around everywhere, and now they cuddle to sleep, which is freakin' adorable.
I'm going to use this entry to officially declare my support for the writers on strike. Mainly, because it means after next week, no new episodes of The Office until these shenanigans are settled. But, seriously folks, this isn't about the rich, Hollywood writers. This is about the little guy. It's difficult to make money to live on when you work in a creative field, and in this ever-changing, Internet savvy world, receiving residuals on downloaded media that the networks make money on should be a no-brainer, I think. If the networks profit from someone's creativity, the creator should also profit. It's kind of how it works. It's how creative people get to be creative and entertain us, by taking time to write and create brilliant ART. You don't get paid for writing a script that hasn't been bought yet. And, do you really want the only people who are writing to be the ones who already have tons of money? Gee, I can imagine the varied perspectives there. James Gunn made a great comment in his "blog" (haha), something like, "If someone made money every time someone opened a cabinet, the maker of the cabinet should make money, too. But nobody makes money when you open a cabinet." Dude, I could totally go back and copy/paste what he actually wrote, but it just doesn't seem necessary. But you should read his myspace blog. It's freakin' hilarious.
Meanwhile, brilliant shows I will miss if this writer's strike goes on too long:
1. The Office (of course)
2. Heroes (oh, Sylar.)
3. Pushing Daisies (this magical little show that I just discovered, it's like "Amelie" for television. I've only watched two episodes, but it just makes me happy.)
4. Weeds (yes, it's getting a little ridiculous now, but I have high hopes they will bring Zoey Deschanel back.)
5. Dexter (the world's most lovable serial killer)
So, full steam ahead in the support for the writers.
But I'm probably going to keep downloading the shows that I like because I'm cheap. Hey, I'm poor, too.
I think I've kind of grown out of going to dance clubs. And that makes me a little sad.
The new Camel cigarettes are delicious. Damn the tobacco industry for making it so hard to quit! Wow, it's kind of fun to blame everyone else for my problems.
And what do you do when you kind of fall into like with a girl who has a boyfriend but might have some bi tendencies but also if you screw up the friendship it could make things really weird for many different reasons? Crushes are fun.
It's so funny to me how Chris's mom can be so mad at him for like three weeks, and all he has to do is go home and mow the lawn, and all is right with the world. Babe, I'm jealous of that skill.
Good God, I need to go to sleep. So I think that's it.
P.S. Honey, I have to admit I was a teensy bit happy to have the apartment to myself tonight, but when all the shows are watched, and bad computer games played, and nachos eaten, I find it strangely difficult to go to sleep when you're not around. Thank goodness for cuddly kittens. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2007|08:49 am] |
So I quit my job last week. Granted, I still have to be here until June 30, but after that I am officially out of the tanning business.
Where will I go next, you might wonder?
I really don't know. I'm looking. I'll keep you posted on the new job when I figure out what it will be.
Meanwhile, if anyone knows of any interesting jobs that might be hiring, let me know.
And, if anyone wants to manage a tanning salon full time, let me know. I need to find someone to replace me ASAP.
Life is on and off fun right now, but I have some fun stuff coming up.
Wednesday night Nicole wants to go out to the Vogue, and I think I am doing that. Retro Rewind night is the best...night...ever. Oh, but before that, there's a Magic draft, so I'll probably go to that first.
And, Saturday, will be my first PRIDE day!! I'm super excited.
I never do this anymore. I mean, the journal thing, at least online. I kinda wonder if there's a point. I don't even know why I'm posting this. OH well, I really am desperate to find someone to hire for the salon. There's my motivation. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2007|10:22 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | work. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | restless | ] |
some days i wake up hating the world, and i have no explanation for that. today every person who comes in annoys me, i hate all the girls that work here because i'm fucking sick of telling them the same things over and over and being so fucking nice about how much they mess up.
of course, i know i'm being irrational, i don't really hate them in general, but today i do.
i'm not even in a bad mood, not really.
my sister just called me and it sorta made my morning because it was someone who doesn't annoy me and talking to someone who doesn't annoy me just makes it better. when i answered the phone, she asked if i was okay, and all the sudden it just struck me as very funny that i hated everyone, so i started giggling a little and told her that. "I'm okay, I just fucking hate everyone today, and they keep talking to me. just get in your fucking bed and shut the fuck up, right?" She laughed, of course she understands me. I love my sister.
So, I love the Bunny also, and I check her site all the time, but I've also been turned on to some other blogs through her site, and one is a guy, "DevilMonkey" and I love him also. His entries are segments of a story. He's on his second story right now, and today i read the entry he either posted last night or this morning, because it was not there yesterday when i was at work. Anyhow, I love this paragraph:
"I took a deep breath and pretended to adjust cables while I composed myself. It isn't like I was perfect--far from it. It wasn't rational of me to be so critical of others. I was in the same mad rat-race as everyone else, scrambling to pay bills on time--and usually failing-- keeping the car running, buying groceries, surviving. That was the problem. I saw myself in them. They were a constant reminder of my own absurdity, my own pointlessness. I began to feel drained. Being around many people often did that to me. I was going to have to terminate this meeting early."
On today of all days, I'm glad he posted it. The company in his story is full of the fake women and asshole men I deal with every day at work, and while it's definitely not exactly the same context, it's the same people. Same meaningless small talk. Making a big fucking deal about the smallest problems. Feeling every day that you have to make yourself subservient to them because that's what sells, that's what they'll fucking buy. Of course they're so much more important than me, of course their needs are more important than mine, of course they can bitch me out for a teeny tiny mistake that i've apologized for and fixed for them.
I'm not perfect, I have so many fucking bad things about myself that I'm just too embarrassed to publish online, I know it's there. But devilmonkey understands, regardless of how clear I am in expressing it. The worst part about being around people you hate is knowing that the things you hate about them are usually the same things you see and hate in yourself.
I'm really not in a bad mood, I just hate everyone today.
So, I throughly recommend www.devilmonkey.net. But start from the very beginning because each blog is a continuation of the stories.
I played Magic last night, and it was really fun, and I love yoga, and I love playing Phase 10 with Amanda and Ben, and I love when Chris turns over in his sleep and wraps his arm around my body, and I love that "The Office" finally has a new episode next Thursday, and I love that no matter how much I hate myself sometimes, I love myself way more than I hate myself. I guess I'm lucky that way. |
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| Why I love my local radio station... |
[Feb. 12th, 2007|09:47 am] |
I listen to 99.5, Smiley, every morning, and this morning is a good example of why I love this show. February 15th is apparently (according to a Facebook group) National "That's What She Said" day. My favorite morning show decided to get an early start. After almost every line in the weather forecast KJ and Smiley just couldn't help themselves.
Some examples:
"I'm expecting 4 to 7 inches tomorrow."
"But the real fun doesn't start until 8 or 9."
"Some showers this evening, so expect to get wet."
Is that enou- Is that enough? Should I keep going?
I have a problem. My name is Kristine and I'm an Office addict. |
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| Somewhat famous people like my salon |
[Dec. 28th, 2006|02:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
For a while I had seen this guy come in to the salon, and I thought he looked vaguely familiar and his name seemed even more familiar. Finally, today I looked it up while he was in here tanning, and HOLY GOD, he's somewhat famous. He is the brother of a nationally syndicated radio show host, has had a few bit parts on shows like "Cheers" and "Becker." But what freaked me out the most?
HE WAS IN THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA WITH SARAH BRIGHTMAN.
How freakin' cool is that?? I'm so jealous...Of course, I didn't say anything to him, what would I say?
But of all the quasi-famous people that have tanned at my salon...including a race car driver, the governor's daughters, a couple local radio hosts...this one got me the most excited!
I stammer when I talk to him now. I'm such a loser. Haha.
Okay, so that's it. That's what was worthing posting a second entry today. :-) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 28th, 2006|08:15 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | relieved | ] |
I hate hate hate when the I feel that weight on me, so much, and no matter what I do, I just hurt and feel so sad.
But man, when that weight finally lifts and I feel happy...just inexplicably if not extremely happy...then I can do anything.
Thank God...or whoever or whatever... for the days I finally see through the clouds even if I have no way to explain how it happened.
So I want to see some friends again, I'm up for the socializing.
Love you guys who stick with me. :-) |
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| I am so disturbed... |
[Nov. 16th, 2006|11:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nauseated | ] |
I just read that O.J. Simpson wrote a book, and FOX is interviewing him about it.
The book's subject matter?
"If I did it, this is how I would have done it."
Um. Yeah. A book and interview about how O.J. would have committed the double homicide "IF he did it."
How low can you be? That's so disturbing.
His poor kids.
Ick. |
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| So it goes... |
[Sep. 26th, 2006|10:14 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | workin' it | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | radio shit | ] |
Back to the reading like mad again...Love it. I'm keeping up with my homework very well, and yet I've still found time to read lots of fun books lately.
I finished the next trilogy in the Feist series, both "Rage of a Demon King" and "Shards of a Broken Crown." Those are just fun, fun books, very interesting plots, and I can never put them down. I also read a Sex and the City tell-all book but it was only up to season 4, so there wasn't much I didn't already know, except it DID go through alot of the designers for the outfits, shoes, and bags which was REALLY cool. Umm, let's see, a little more serious...
"Old School" by Tobias Wolfe was very good. Tucker Max had recommended another of his books but they didn't have it at the library, so I got that one instead. It was very good. Reminded me a bit of "A Separate Peace," if only for the boys' school environment. He discussed alot several authors they learned about in his school and a few that came to visit, including Robert Frost and Ayn Rand (!). It made me remember some fun memories about high school. We didn't compete for a chance to meet different authors that spoke at our school, but in my AP English classes, I think there was some level of competition, and the authors! They will always be the same. Hemingway,Faulkner, the discussions were the same, the symbolism, we read so much into it. I don't know. I guess I have good memories of my high school English classes, so it was neat to sort of relive that.
Now, for the best of the best, I've finally ACTUALLY read Kurt Vonnegut. Yes, I read "A Man Without A Country" but I don't really count that as reading Vonnegut. Last night I read "Slaughterhouse Five." Oh God. I could not stop thinking about it last night, just journaled. I even tried to start another book, and I couldn't, it was too fluffy for the moment.
I don't know that I'm a pacifist, exactly. Granted, I don't really like to fight, and I would rather avoid it more than anything, but I don't know that it's a not a necessary evil sometimes. Thanks Chris, for your "devil's advocate" role, you only make me more confused :-P But anyway, all I know is that I'm really tired of fighting in general, I'm tired of people dying, so much injustice in it all, it's just stupid. I don't know. I'm tired of the stupid, petty fights people pick with me and others. Unfortunately, it's in my nature to want to fight back. Recently, I made that mistake. Tried to fight back when someone picked a fight with me, but by the next day, I sorta felt like, "Why do I care?" I didn't like the girl anyway. It doesn't really bother me that she doesn't like me. It's not going to affect any other part of my life. Oh well. I am dreading, in a way, seeing her again, but if I keep fighting, I will feel like a hypocrite. I really want to pick my fights, and I don't want to fight with someone whose opinion means nothing to me. And the stuff she says about me behind my back,if someone believes her without hearing my side of the story, their opinion probably doesn't matter either. Anyway, I guess I'm just more of a "Pacifism" than a "Chastise" lately. (Haha...Chris and Frank can laugh now...)
So Vonnegut. Every book he has written is now on my "To Read" list.
Going to Ohio in a couple weeks...I got Chris Ben Kweller tickets in Columbus so we're going to that and then hang out with Jordin and Reese for a bit.
Saw a few good movies lately...Elephant...based on the Columbine shootings. Very good movie, very disturbing. Swimming with Sharks was good. Another Kevin Spacey movie I like, there haven't been too many of those. AAAAAAANNDD Benny and Joon! What a fabulously happy movie. I love Johnny Depp.
I think I'm back in my "vivid dream" cycle, so THAT makes for interesting nights.
Other than that...wow, I really don't have anything of much interest to write about!
School's fine, work's fine, everything's fine! |
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| Yes? Yes. |
[Sep. 1st, 2006|11:30 am] |
School started again, and I am haaaaaaaappy to be back in school.
I am also happy that I am so motivated...I have even been working ahead on things :-)Yay me! Now the trick is to stay motivated alllll semester.
I had a brief crush on my sociology professor. He's talks like Woody Allen, just as sacrcastic as Chris. But, by the second class I decided we would just be friends because (surprise, suprise) he is a socialist. Eh, what are ya gonna do? At least the class is still interesting. If someone's dumb, he calls them out on it. Makes for interesting conversation, anyway. My biology professor drives me crazy. She says things like "irregardless" which, by the way, is NOT a word. And if someone asks her a question that's not in her lecture notes, she gets confused. Whatever.
I have been doing not much of anything but work and school lately, but I'm sorta okay with that. I like being busy, feeling like what I do has a purpose. I think I will graduate next December, and beyond that, I just don't know, still, what I want to do. I will have a General Studies degree with a certificate in Event Management. I will always have a place at the salon. Mike wants to open more salons, make me a general manager, and offer me part ownership when I graduate. So, there's that. I've considered a few other things as well:
1. Working for Designer Skin as a sales rep or planning their events. They are an awesome lotion line, as well as a health company. Vitamins and the like. And their sales reps always have impressed me. They really have it together, super hot. Could be fun.
2. It would be awesome to work for a nightclub/concert venue like the Vogue and plan and promote their events. It might get old after a while, but who knows?
3. What would be perfect is working for a non profit that I really care about and planning their events and fundraisers...something like a breast cancer awareness group or gay/bi/les advocacy group. However, I don't think that there is a huge market for that job. But it would be awesome...I would have fun and I would be fulfilled knowing I was doing something that made a difference.
Speaking of gay/bi/les groups, I took over a bi/les group on facebook. It looked like it was just one of those groups to say you're bi or lesbian but they didn't really do much of anything. I want to at least get together and hang out, even if it's not exactly an advocacy group.
I've determined that I will make some friends this semester. I have VERY few girlfriends, and I'm dying for some girl time. Where have all my girlfriends gone??
I am excited that Kristin is coming home next weekend because I haven't seen her in a while. For some reason, everyone else seems to get annoyed with her pretty easily, but I've never had a reason to have a problem with her. She's fun, and for the most part, easy-going. So we'll have a good time.
Next Saturday, Chris and I are going to go see Better Than Ezra and I'm so excited...We saw them at Jingle Jam last year, and they were AWESOME. It should be good.
AAAAAnddd...Chris's birthday is coming on Sept. 20th, and I decided what I'm getting him and it's sooo hard not to tell him because I'm so excited. I already told Jordin. He had better not tell Chris. I will have to kill him.
Okay, I am done for now...so long, farewell. |
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| "What's with you today?" "What's with today today?" |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|08:44 am] |
Well, last week didn't go exactly as planned. Actually, nothing I PLANNED when exactly as planned.
There were some things that bummed me out, but what stands out for me more is the good, fun stuff.
I don't know that I feel like going into too much detail. Let's say this, there were a couple important things to note about last week.
At one point, I felt incredibly euphoric in a situation I never thought I would. I felt so incredibly satisfied with myself. In this same situation approximately a year ago, I was terrified, upset, scared, depressed. But somehow in this similar situation, I felt good, like I'm finally a whole person all by myself, and it made me so happy. Are you confused yet? I know I'm being vague, but the important part was the realization. I can't explain it very well. I won't try. But I'm happy.
Also, Chris is so totally cool. When things kept going wrong, he kept sticking with me the whole time, patient and just awesome. Also, some surprise birthday presents I totally didn't see coming: About five lighters painted pink and a pink lighter holder so I will always have a pink lighter, Napoleon Dynamite pajama pants, two packs of discontinued flavored cigarettes, and a pink "Find the Cure" bracelet. So that was cute and cool, just like him. He made me feel very special to him this week...not that he doesn't usually, but just especially so this past week.
Scott, Josh, Luke, Chris, Amanda, and her friend Ryan came to my slumber party, though everyone was sort of in and out. Movie night...We watched Empire Records and But I'm a Cheerleader. I also rented the first few episodes of The L Word which is this show on Showtime that I had heard about. I like it. The dialogue is not nearly as good as Sex and the City, but I still like it. I particularly like one character, Shane. Sexy, cool, noncommittal. Just my type :-)
Umm...what else...I played Catchphrase probably eight million times last week. One night, I even played in my sleep sorta...I fell asleep on the floor of jordin's basement and whenever it was my turn, they put the game right by my head until I woke up enough to look at the word or phrase, give a one or two word clue, have Davy guess it, and go back to sleep. The funny thing was the timer went off on Chris about six times in a row because I managed to hold onto the game for just the right amount of time...unintentionally, of course. :-)
Gosh, there's so much I'd like to write about. But so much stuff is special and happy and I want to keep it to myself...it seems sometimes when I write it down, it doesn't do those feelings justice. It's just better to feel them and know inside what it's like. I don't know.
So I think that's it for now. |
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| A busy girl am I... |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|08:26 am] |
Oh man…life has been crazy lately.
I can’t remember everything that’s gone on, but I’ll recount as much as I can remember. Last Saturday, Chris, Jordin, and I went with Chris’s family to the Little Miami in Ohio for a canoe trip. Before we actually got into the canoe, Chris and Jordin decided we would tip the canoe at least ten times on purpose…just to make it a bit more exciting. As it turns out, it wasn’t really necessary to PLAN tipping over. I guess the river was rougher than normal. The first nine miles were a blast. We tipped a few times but managed to recover everything…the first time we tipped, Chris even managed to grab onto a tree branch so he didn’t actually go down with the boat. We stopped for lunch a little ways down the river, taunted and rammed into all the family that we passed. I sat in the middle while Jordin and Chris rowed, so I pretended to be Lady Mara from the Feist fantasy series. At one point, Jordin took a random kid’s squirt gun and sprayed him down in retaliation for the kid’s initial attack, which was fairly amusing.
We stopped with about three miles left to go, and we could tell everyone was a little tired, but we were so close to the end.
When we got back in the boat, trouble started. Jordin and I plotted to tip the boat. Unfortunately, he said go left and I went right, so I got hit by the boat on the way down. EVERYTHING started floating down the river. We rescued quite a bit of it, but I did lose my sunglasses and at some point my house key. I also managed to drop Chris’s $300 sunglasses in the river. Go me. Amazingly, he actually FOUND them at the bottom of the river. I started crying, mostly in relief.
So, we get back in the canoe and continue down the river.
We stopped by this tree that we saw some kids jumping out of, and we all decided to do it, too. We all jumped individually, and then tried to jump together. It sort of worked, except Chris jumped about a half second before we did just to be a pain.
Then, we kept tipping. Again and again and again. Chris’s parent’s tipped their canoe also, and we stopped ourselves under a tree, which happened to be a spider breeding ground. When I saw three huge spiders within a couple inches of each other as soon as we secured ourselves under the tree, I started to freak out. We did finally move on, but I was very shaken and getting very cranky. When we kept going, Jordin and I were the only ones in our boat, as Chris was in his parent’s helping them gather stuff out of the river. Jordin and I caught up to Chris’s brother Steven who was already upset and convinced him to get into the “cool” boat. As he pulled himself up, we all fell out with not only our stuff but a good deal of Chris’s parent’s stuff. To make matters worse, the current was so strong, I couldn’t make my way back to the boat. My shoes kept falling off, so I just held them in my hands and tried to go back to where Jordin was trying to put everything back in the boat. I kept falling on the rocks in the shallow water, and I was, at this point, about ready to cry again. Finally, someone came to help Jordin get the canoe upright and he, chris, and I managed to get back in the boat. The boys, in retrospect, were kind of funny as they noted how everyone in other canoes were yelling at each other, everyone was cranky, but at the time, I was one of those angry, cranky people.
That’s when they decided to row full speed into three huge rocks. On purpose. About five seconds before we hit, the suggested I jump out. However, I was very glad I didn’t actually have the time to jump out, because when we hit the rocks, I watched a snake slither down the rock and into the water. I was crying steadily now and a little ways down the river, I got out of the canoe when they tipped again and started walking the last mile or so. Luckily, Chris’s parents were not too far ahead of us, so I got in their boat and finished with them and Shilah and Sophie (the two dogs.) Chris’s sister Amanda and her friends tried to make me feel better when I was finally on dry land, but I wasn’t really much better until we got back to their aunt’s house and I changed into dry clothes.
Nothing much of consequence happened after that. I would totally do this trip again, now that I know what to expect. There are a few things I would do differently. Like not land under a tree of spiders. But hey, you live, you learn.
Monday, my cousin was in town before he went back to training for the Army before he leaves for Iraq. He, Luke, Matt M., and I went out for a little bit. It was nice, because we really only all hang out when the cousin is in town. I met them at Hooters, then we all went bowling. I actually did much better than usual, but of course not well enough to actually beat anyone. I was a little preoccupied that night because Amanda went to the emergency room, and they didn’t know what was wrong with her. She’s fine now…She had a cyst on her ovary burst (OUCH) but they gave her medicine and the next day she was already feeling better. After bowling, we went to PT’s which was interesting. I didn’t stay long ‘cuz I was tired, but long enough to get a little dance from “Christine,” a gorgeous blond all in white. It was my first time feeling fake boobs. Cross that off the list.
Tuesday, I met Sarah for dinner. She’s in town from Georgia for a friend’s wedding, and she brought her gorgeous six week old baby boy, James. He’s too freakin’ cute for his own good. We got some food at the food court in the mall and visited Amanda at work. When we left the mall, we drove around and talked for a while, even drove by the school. Lots of memories, and it was very nice to be with her. She seems so much more at peace with herself now, and I’m so happy and proud of her. She’s a natural mommy. A lot of people I know that have gotten married and had babies young have made me very wary. I always have a bad feeling about it. But for Sarah…it seems to work. It seems like she really took the right path for her life, and she’s still on the right path. I love seeing my friends happy.
Wednesday, Jordin, Brittany, Jackie, and I went to King’s Island. I had a lot of fun. We rode quite a few rides, of course, went to the water park. We rode the Lara Croft Tomb Raider ride, and this is when I decided I want to be an assassin when I grow up. Hot.
Last night was a Texas Hold’em/ watch Entourage night with the boys at Jordin’s. I fell asleep pretty early.
And now…today….is my last day before NINE days of vacation. I am SO freakin’ excited. NO work for NINE WHOLE DAYS!
Tonight I’m spending the night at Mike’s, and tomorrow morning we are going sky diving with three of his other friends.
Tomorrow night Manda and I are having a little get-together at our house before Trevor goes home Sunday.
Sunday night is Reese’s surprise birthday party.
Monday is Reese’s actual birthday, so we’ll probably party then, too.
Tuesday is MY birthday (yay, 22) and that day me, Chris, Brittany, Jordin, Reese, Kristin, Davy, Amanda, Lauren, and Maddie are driving to Ohio to go to Cedar point. We are staying on these campgrounds a few miles from the park, and we’re going to spend all day Wednesday at the park and drive home.
Starting Thursday, I’m housesitting in Broad Ripple.
Saturday night I am having a slumber party at my house! Just like in middle school…Pizza, popcorn, movies, catch phrase, alcohol…okay, maybe not JUST like in middle school. But fun.
Luke is moving into his own apartment on Tuesday! So that’s exciting.
This is getting to be a ridiculously long entry, and I have a ton of work to do before I leave for nine days.
Suffice it to say, next week will be awesome.
I heart summer. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2006|02:25 pm] |
So I just finished reading this book called "The Present Darkness" by Frank Peretti.
Chris's mom gave it to me to read, as we had been discussing Christian fiction, and I had mentioned that I liked "The Prophet."
Keep in mind...It's been well over a year and a half since I've actually READ any Christian fiction. This book freaked me the fuck out.
The first time I started reading it, I got about forty pages in before I switched to another book for two reasons.
One, it dealt quite a bit with spiritual warfare. I dealt with this alot at Lakeview, with beliefs of angels, demons, generational curses and the like being common topics of converation among members of the congregation, particularly in choir. I recall one night being given a bottle of "holy oil" to anoint my parent's house to rid it of the demons that were obviously inhabiting it, seeing as how my parents didn't go to church at the time. It's not like I had never heard of any of this before, but somehow it hit me pretty hard again because, I think, it's been so long since I had thought about it. So, I was a little scared.
Two, I became annoyed very quickly with seemingly innocuous comments that condemned other ways of thinking as evil. The enemy of the book was influenced by Eastern philosophy and mysticism, which Peretti managed to connect to Satanism, including ritualistic sacrifice. Other minor statements were made that the tone of, "Oh, of course drinking is bad." Like, if you're reading this book, you would be of the same mind over his interepretation of the Bible.
About a week later, I picked up the book again, determined to finish it and not let my paranoid memories keep me from finding out what happened. I did finish it...in a single night.
Not quite as freaked out. By then, I had centered myself a little more and was able to reason out my fears.
Recently, someone told me that it seemed I just held in my problems, insistent that, "everything will be fine in the morning," and never truly fixing them. I was immediately defensive, though as other emotions ran through my mind, I wasn't sure how I could defend myself beyond the few reasons I gave. Reading this book kind of put it in perspective. Yeah, I have issues. Yeah, I occasionally get emotional and have a hard time dealing with those issues. But you know what? Most of my friends now didn't know me when I went through "the worst of times." And even if they did...none of them ever knew the full extent of what I went through struggling privately. I'm not perfect. But I'm so much better now than I used to be, and that's because of ME. I am stronger now, without God, better able to control myself, better able to reason out my emotions and fix my problems.
I'm sorry if 21 years of problems aren't fixed yet.
But they will be. |
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| "Everything you've heard about me is true." |
[Jun. 20th, 2006|08:24 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Workin' it | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Smiley | ] |
It's been a busy past couple of weeks. Jordin came home, so you know I had NO sleep. It was fun though...We played laser tag a couple nights, which was really fun by the second time because I got better. The first time we played I was a little cranky. Also, a little drinking and lots of...other stuff...Very fun. Went swimming, played football in the pool, had the boys throw us into the air so we could flip into the pool, which was great until Kristin flipped onto her back and came out of the water crying.
There was alot of drama these past couple weeks. I don't know. Maybe I'm spoiled. Chris and I hardly ever fight, but with alot of that crowd the couples fight all the freakin' time. I just got real tired of it REAL fast.
I haven't really seen my sister much 'cuz we have the exact opposite work schedules.
I've gone out to Broad Ripple a few times, mostly to the Vogue.
One night I went with Matt M. and we started at the Fox and Hound with Diego. I drank and watched them play pool. Then we went to the Alley Cat and met up with Amy, Kiki, and their friend Rob. That was cool 'cuz I hadn't seen Amy in forever...I just wish I was a little more "there." Matt, Diego, and I went to the Vogue after that, and my boss Mike and his friends met us there. Matt was so awesome that night...He was my baby-sitter. And he drove me home. I danced all night, but no girls for me. Lots of guys, which, I mean, whatever, but no girls. And, at this point, it's making me want a girl all that much more because they seem to be much harder to get.
I also went out another night with Chris and Jordin. Saw Bly for about...two seconds. I have no clue where he disappeared to most of the night. I danced with Jordin and some other people for most of the night because Chris was just drunk enough to annoy me on the dance floor, but towards the end of the night, I had a good time dancing with Chris.
The other night I went out was last Saturday, and Luke and I started at Peppers. We went to the downstairs bar for a bit and I had a couple beers while we watched the girls, trying to find anyone worth looking at. It was sort of a bust. I noticed one tall, older woman (like 30ish) kind of following us around, so when we started to go back upstairs and I noticed she was right behind us, I asked her if she wanted to have a cigarette with us. Her name was Rachel. She was cute and talked alot, so that was cool, but it soon became obvious that she wasn't really into girls. Still, when we all went to the Vogue, she was fun to dance with. One of those girls who dances with other girls for the attention, not the fun of it, but hey, I'll take what I can get, and she had a really good body. Again, met Mike and one of his friends there, too, and Mike and I spent a good portion of the night rescuing each other from ugly people. Rachel went home with a tall guy. Good for her.
So, it occurred to me that this Saturday was going to be my wedding. My, how things change. I really can't believe how different my life is now. I honestly think that breaking off that engagement was the best decision I've ever made. I never would have had the experiences I've had, trying so many new things, meeting new people. I never would have KNOWN how fabulous I am on my own.
Done with Dune, so I'm finally finishing the Ender books, reading about Bean in "Shadow of the Giant." After that, I'm going to start a fantasy series that Chris is letting me borrow. I can't remember the name right now, but the author is Raymond Feist.
I have some fun things coming up...The first weekend in July, I'm going to go to Dale Hollow with my familiy. I'm so excited 'cuz I haven't been on a boat in FOREVER, and I want to go swimming and skiing, and it will be awesome. Also, sometime in July, Mike told me he's going to take me skydiving. AND on July 22 I am going with Chris's family on a canoe trip. I think I'm going to take my vacation the first week in August. I want to try to go to Cedar Point at some point that week, and I will also, of course, be partying for my birthday. :-)
Oh, the Bunny is back and writing lots of stories, and I love it. I missed her. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 2nd, 2006|08:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Michael Madsen on Smiley...HOT | ] |
Well, Lindsey is out, and my sister Amanda is officially living with me.
Our air conditioning was broken for like four days and that REALLY sucked, but it's fixed now. For a few nights, we were sleeping on a futon mattress under the fan in the dining room.
Monday I went to my parent's house for a while, but I had to go to work later that night 'cuz one of the girls didn't show up. I was not happy.
I shot stuff last week. Well, I shot paper. Chris and I went to a shooting range, and I shot a .38 revolver. Didn't do badly...Out of fifty shots, only three missed the paper entirely :-) I never really realized how much power is in a gunshot until I shot it. Even that little gun kicked back enough to make a difference. It's a very powerful feeling.
I'm almost done with the Dune books,I'm on the last one right now.
I've been watching my brother alot this week. Tuesday, just until 6. Wednesday, I just spent the night because Steve went out with the guys and wasn't back until after 1, and my mom was out of town. Steve made dinner before he went out, and while he was grilling hamburgers, Zachary came into the kitchen because he heard the ice cream man, and he was FREAKING OUT: "Dad, dad!! Can I please have money? The ice cream man's here, he never comes, please, can I just have, like, six bucks??" Steve goes, "Zach, we're getting ready for dinner, not right now. We have popsicles in the freezer." Not good enough, apparently. Zach was just about in tears when he cried, "But dad! The ice cream man NEVER comes! He only comes once a year!" My sister Brooke and I were cracking up, which put us as the end of the prayer list when Zach prayed before dinner. Amanda actually made it to second on the prayer list, which is unprecedented.
Chris came over that night, though, and we watched a couple episodes of House. (On a side note, man I love that show. Hugh Laurie is sexy. His cane is sexy. It's to the point that I've contemplated how his bad leg would affect sex. But Dr. House is not real, he's just an actor, I know. IMDB him, and you'll see he was one of the morons in 101 Dalmatians. He was Stuart's dad in Stuart Little. But as House...HOT. I digress.)
Yesterday, I had the day off, so I went to Chris's to watch House. Again. Then I picked up my brother and took him to his baseball game. His team won again, so they are still undefeated. :-) After my mom came home, I went to Chris's house to watch the E! True Hollywood Story on the "Sex and the City" girls. It was OK. I did learn some things I did not know, but definitely not two hours' worth.
You know what I love about my brother? He's so freakin' smart. Yesterday in the car he said to me, "You know what I've been thinking about? When people look at me, do they see the same thing that I see in the mirror? Or do I just think they see the same thing? Do I look the same to you as I think I look? I don't know. There's no way to know."
Who thinks about that kind of stuff when they're 10? A select few. Yes, he has his moments of obssession with video games and Shakira. But sometimes he really does have some very deep thoughts for a kid his age.
I am ready for my summer adventures to start. |
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| sometimes life is just so freakin' good |
[May. 11th, 2006|08:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Miss New Booty" | ] |
Nothing amazing to report here...I'm just happy :-) Which is so wierd 'cuz I'm totally supposed to be PMS'ing right now, and even though some bad things have happened, I haven't really stayed in that "good feeling gone" mood which is awesome. Normally I would be crying over every little thing, and this entry would probably be much more amusing. No such luck this month guys :-)
My sister is moving in with me in June, which is super cool. I think that will be a much better situation. Not one without it's own problems, I'm sure, but at least I won't have to worry about getting kicked out of my house or taking care of out-of-control drunk people.
I got a pink phone. It's pretty.
Spent yesterday at a golf outing that my salon sponsored. My sister Brooke came with me, as well as the owner and one of the teller's at a bank the owner works at. (As a side note...is it wierd that it STILL bothers me to finish a sentence with a preposition?? I'm such a nerd. I will not rewrite that sentence. Even though it would have taken much less time than writing these last few sentences. Fuck English. I'm just kidding, just kidding, I didn't mean it.) Anyway, we just rode around in a golf cart all day passing out beer and watching the group get more and more drunk. Old people are funny when they're drunk. Between the two of us, Brooke and I made like $60 in tips, which is all right considering a good portion fo the day was cool and rainy. I was soaked by the time we went inside.
I made a deal with Jordin that I would quit smoking by the time he comes home for the summmer *July*. Details of this deal will not be disclosed at this time, but results will be reported.
On the radio, I heard a d.j. who was celebrating his 28th birthday and decided to make a list of 30 things he wants to do before he's 30. I think that's a little better than a Summer of Firsts list because the time period is a little bit longer. So, stay tuned for that list.
Saw American History X the other day, and I'm glad I watched it. It wasn't something I couldn't handle.
Played a really fun game of hide and seek at Jordin's. This girl, Emily, and I decided we wanted to play and we hid twice down in the basement and it took Chris and Jordin no time to find us. So, we got a little more clever and grabbed some blankets and hid outside. Then Davy ran out and found us, as well as two othr guys (I can't remember their names). So, I decided, what better hiding place than in Davy's car while they drove to White Castle?? Emily was a good sport. Neither one of us had shoes on, and she let me convince her that this was a really, really good idea. We ended up being gone for like an hour on that little trip, and oh man, what an adventure. Davy is crazy. This is the story he told us on the way:
"So I was driving home from Muncie, right, I had to go back up to check out, and I had a couple drinks, enough to be pretty buzzed while I'm driving home, and I get pulled over. I see this other guy going way faster than me in front of me, so I asked the cop, 'Why didn't you pull that guy over, he was going way faster' and the cop goes, 'Well, I guess this is your lucky day' and was just being real sarcastic. So he looks at my license and stuff, starts talking to me and goes, 'So you go to Ball State?' I said, 'Yes' and he asked me, you know, what I was studying, what I did up there, that kind of stuff. I told him I was a nursing major and...I swear to God...he looks at me...looks down at my crotch...tears up the ticket and walks back to his car. As he's pulling out, another car clips him! He gets hit by another car! So I get in the car, get on the radio and say, 'This story is such bullshit!'"
We all kind of sat there for a second, and then there was the collective, "ohhhh..."
What was even more funny is that when we got back to the house and had him tell the story, it took everyone else even longer to figure out the whole story made up.
Jordin and Chris's response to Emily and I finally making it back to the house: "Best game of hide and seek...EVER!"
Do you know who is really cool? Chris. Chris is just so freakin' cool. And hot. And I'm calling him "Whiskers" now. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 2nd, 2006|01:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
"I have no fear, for fear is the death that kills me over and over. Without fear, I die but once."
-Serena, "Dune: The Machine Crusades" |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|06:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Chicago | ] |
It has been an eventful week.
The weekend was pretty fun. Jordin, Reese, Bly, Davy, and Kristin all came home, so we were over at Jordin's pretty much all weekend. Friday night was relatively low key, just a few people over there, hanging out. Finally met Lauren's new boyfriend, and he's adorable. Cute little Minnesota accent. I didn't leave until 7 that morning, and I wasn't really tired when I got home a little before 8. I read for a while, worked out and took like a two hour nap. Called Brittany when I got up and ended up meeting her and Kristin at Jordin's and the three of us went to the mall. Afterwards, we went back to Jordin's house and Brittany and I went with Jordin and Chris to the creek. That was a fairly uneventful trip because no one wanted to actually get IN the creek. Haha. Maybe next time.
That night was the BIG party at Jordin's which was fine, but definitely much more fun after all the "little girls" went home. We got some fun things on videotape, Bly wore Brittany's clothes, Chris talked for 20 minutes about grits, and we got to watch drunk people pass out on the floor and run into walls. That was actually pretty amusing. I also got to meet Greg Oden. He's very tall. Went home around 5.
Sunday was Easter, of course. I went to my parents house around noon. We ate and watched my brother ride his new dirt bike that he got for his birthday. He looked soooo cute, has the whole outfit and everything. Then we went to see "Benchwarmers" which was kinda wierd, kinda funny. I went to Chris's after that and ate again and just sort of relaxed. Since Friday, my throat had been REALLY hurting me, and on Sunday I started to feel sick, too. I went home pretty early that night and slept since I had to open the next morning.
Monday night Chris came over which was nice 'cuz I had been kind of wanting some "alone" time with him. We were both exhausted and fell asleep pretty early. I woke up Tuesday morning, took a shower, and realized my phone was dead. I charged it a little and turned it back on and had two messages, one from Lindsey, who was supposed to open the store that morning, and one from Mike, the owner of the store. It's like, 11 a.m. The store opens at 8 a.m. My message from Lindsey is at 9:15 a.m. saying that her purse was stolen with her keys inside the night before at a bar and she didn't know how she was going to get to work that morning. Well. By that time, Mike had already talked to her and he was PISSED. I've never seem him mad like that. Never, never, never, and he yelled at Lindsey. I guess when he found her, she had on a teeny-tiny slutty looking outfit and REEKED of alcohol. This was, like, the millionth time a situation like this had come up, and he was particulary pissed because they had just had a conversation about this two weeks ago. So, he fired her. I haven't talked to her at all since it happened, though Mike said it went fine.
I've been staying at my parents' house the past couple nights and my mom gave me money to go to the doctor because my throat wasn't getting better. I guess I have tonsillitis, and my mom gave me the money to go get medicine for it, so hopefully it will be gone in 10 days. My throat has been hurting badly enough that it has been waking me up in the night. On the bright side, it also hurts to smoke, so maybe I'll quit before this is all over.
So, now I'm working lots more hours until I can find someone to replace Lindsey, and I'm sick on top of it. The other girls are trying to help, but their availabilities aren't very good, so it's hard right now. I'm hoping I can just find some night/weekend person to take over so I can go back to working days with weekends off. I hope, I hope, I hope.
Chris just left for OSU to spend the weekend with Jordin. They're going to the Magic pre-release tournament there and partying a bit, so that should be fun.
I'm taking my brother bowling on Sunday as my birthday present to him.
I really need to rest. I need a vacation. I'm so tired, so stressed.
I'm so tired of certain people right now. I'm so tired of alcoholics and idiots and people who are supposed to be there for you but really only are when they feel like it, when it's convenient for them. I don't need friends or family like that.
I don't know. It's all bullshit. Everything's bullshit right now. That's how I feel about that. |
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| Finally... |
[Apr. 18th, 2006|06:22 pm] |
Well, my roommate was finally fired, so that means there's a possibility that I'm looking for a new roommate. If anyone knows anyone looking for a room, let me know.
It's 2 bedroom, two and a half bath townhome. They would get a private room and private full bath. The downstairs is large with a living room, dining room, kitchen, and half bath.
Rent would be $335 a month and the only utility to pay is electricity.
It's in Nora, just a five minute drive from the main strip in Broad Ripple, a two minute drive the I-465 at Meridian. Any other questions, message me and I'll get ahold of you. |
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| "There's a little man in my nose..." |
[Apr. 10th, 2006|08:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
Interesting weekend...pretty fun.
Saturday I had my first date with a girl and it was fun :-) We just went to Starbucks and talked for a while. She's very pretty and I like her. Not much else to say. We have alot in common, so even if nothing happens, I think we could be friends. She seems cool.
After Starbucks, I went to Chris's house and hung out with him and Jordin and eventually Brittany and Chris's brother Stephen. When I first got there, they were making oatmeal raisin cookies...Well, at least, Chris was, and Jordin taught me how to throw a football. We didn't really do much...Played euchre for a while, but Jordin and Steve were playing Magic at the same time, so it was a slow game. I was sooo hyper that night and the things that came out of my mouth...I can't tell you where it all came from, but I had a good time.
Sunday I worked 10-5 and the store made over $1100...I think that's the most we've ever done on a Sunday...It was crazy. I ended up going bowling with my cousin Matt, Luke, and Matt M. which was pretty fun, especially since it's been a while since we've all hung out. Matt and Matt had just come back from a trip to Florida so they had lots 'o stories and nice tans. I, of course, sucked at bowling as usual, but I also did much better than normal...mostly because about halfway through the first game my cousin found a lighter ball for me. It's much easier to bowl when you can actually lift the ball. Luke wore a Marilyn Monroe wig for a while, which was also amusing.
I don't really have much to say. Finished "Xenocide," "Children of the Mind," and "Ender's Shadow." I'm halfway through "Shadow of the Hegemon." I can't put these books down.
I am making a concerted effort to cut certain people out of my life. In regards to one, I actually had a friend of hers tell me, "It's too bad you two don't get along more often, you have so much in common...I think you're main difference is that she's such a free spirit and your more calm and don't like to party." I kind of laughed on my way up to bed and just said, "I think there's a little bit more to it than that." Like the fact that she's an alcoholic who does nothing to make her own life better, just blames the people that try to help her then call the ones who accept her problems as normal to hang out. I've done my part in trying to help. It's not my responsibility any more, particularly when she drags me down. It's not worth fucking up my own life in a most likely doomed attempt to save hers. I've learned my lesson. Oh, and by the way, I hate parties and having fun. Spread the word. I'm so happy her alcoholic, coke-fiend friends can analyze me so well. Sorry if I sound a little bitter, but it is Monday morning after all.
That's about it kids... |
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